Saturday Night

I really need to stop watching Big Love

I am so far from that 19 year old who abruptly know that her religion was made up and not what I want. This show is giving me horrible flashbacks to specific moments that I tried really hard to forget.  The dialogue of Mormon-Speak makes me a puddle of anxiety. I feel worse for my husband, since he has to deal with my sudden anxiety attacks or quick storm of tears.  Luckily, I can let the moment pass and then step back and reason that it really doesn't matter and I can move on again and be fabulous me.  To be honest, it can also make me laugh hysterically.

So what's up with you?

I am riding a wave of gratefulness. Last Saturday my most amazing friend, Todd, opened his home to me for my graduation party. Yes, I have finally finished my bachelors. It only took 23 years.  But that's really not what I'm happy for.  You take classes and complete them with a C or better until you collect enough points. BAM a bachelors.

I am grateful for my friends.  I've always been someone who never let anyone in except those that I really truly trusted and really truly loved.  I find it really hard to call someone my friend. I like people but before I put that label "friend" on someone, there is an intense vetting process by a panel of one crazy minded me. So I really was cautious as to who I invited. The more the merrier would be the obvious thing but I got really panicy about who should be on the invitation list.  When a name went on the list, I had to be comfortable that I could call them a friend.  It did pay off in the end because when the evening came, I was with the people that I loved.  You can tell because I hugged everyone. I hate being touched by anyone unless I trust them.  Oh it burns, it burns.