Sunday, February 24, 2008

I should be doing something constructive

I am writing because I am trying to avoid the things I must do. I always do this. I am a procrastinator.

I have to,

1) Balance the checkbook.
2) Pay bills.
3) Homework

When Dave arrives home from his Sunday coffee party,
4) Buy tile, grout and new shower fixtures
5) Go to Costco and spend way too much on a gallon of a variety of things. (1 gallon = 3.79 liters)

Its about 1pm on a Sunday and so far I've slept in, made myself some coffee (I love my coffee press) watched Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant and the Independent Spirit awards. I started typing this and I'm watching (again) Music and Lyrics. I have always found Hugh Grant very entertaining and amusing but I never thought of him as a heartthrob (or any other kind of throb) but when I saw the Pop Goes My Heart video, I have adored him ever since. No, I'm not proud of this.

The memorial services was heartbreaking. I can truly say that she is a little part of me. She helped me become an adult. I met her when I was 25 and still very much a girl. She was the first person to push me, the first to tell me that I could do what ever I wanted to do. She was the first to back me up on a business decision that I made. Most importantly, she was the first to tell me that I knew better, when I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing. I can't believe that she chose to make an exit but as always she did things on her own terms. I hate thinking about this so let's move on...

I met the people that I started my current job with, later, Friday evening. Toddster noticed I wasn't "on" that night and gave me an extra squeeze before I left for the evening. We all promised to meet up again soon. I said that I was just a little tired. The new promotion has sapped my energy. I react to stress, good or bad, by sleeping and not eating. I did learn some very interesting information about one of my new peers. This person had made a derogatory comment about the race of the person who was telling me this little story. There are very few things that I really find offensive and a racist remark (especially at the work place) is pretty unforgivable, but then I really never take too much in to account if it didn't happen to me or I didn't actually witness the incident. I will just file this bit of information away and be wary.

I finally got to see my best work friend. He just had a baby, is married and we have different work schedules. We also don't like talking on the phone so we don't see each other often. Enough with the pictures of your baby's pooh, please! When he did show up, we had a great time making fun of the waiter and swapping gossip about co-workers. Our waiter was way to friendly. He did a drive by two thumbs up with a smile...and he looked like Clark Kent. We tipped him generously for the abuse.

I had dinner with my best friend and her husband last night. She is having some medical issues that so far has not been diagnosed after 2 specialist. She sees a 3rd on Friday. I'm worried but with no answers, nothing to do but wait.

I filled her in on the memorial services. That's where we met, that job over a decade ago. She knew my husband before I did and was involved in us ultimately getting together. She was impressed by how I avoided those that I couldn't stand seeing again. They are huggers...I guess they get a better grip while stabbing you in the back. It's just the nature of that particular business. Since then, I can't be touched by someone I don't know or trust. One girl, a hug and a cheek kisser tried to steal my bff's job. This is not gossip, this is fact, since when it happened I was in a managerial role and was privy to the details. She of course asked about my bff and how is she doing? Just fine, bitch, thank you for asking.

The BFF, her husband, Dave and I had a wonderful evening out talking, since we've been exchanging voicemail for a few weeks without any new news about her medical issues and I finally got to see her and her husband in person. That's always nice; Your best friends husband gets along with your husband. Its one of my favorite times to be with them. All four of us our completely comfortable with each other.

I still marvel that I'm finally comfortable in my life and very happy. How did that happen? What happened to my angst?

I do have one little goal for myself. This may seems very trivial but I miss the movies that I love. I was watching the Spirit awards and I had only seen 1 or 2 movies. There are so many movies that I want to see and now I may have to catch up by getting them through Netflix, which is not the way I want to see them. The experience of seeing them in a theater is something that I love. I think that I will, of course, start getting them through Netflix, but I will have to make time, maybe the first showing on Saturday or Sunday, to see what is at the Harkins Camelview.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday's Memorial Service

This is to have Succeeded
To laugh often and love much:
To win respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one's self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived...
This is to have succeeded.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, February 18, 2008

just for fun

a) Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.

b) Find page 123.

c) Find the first 5 sentences and read them.

d) Post the next 3 sentences.


And the more you show us, even in an attempt to mislead us, the more you're going to point to your own crime and profile.

Chambers told detectives that Jennifer must have choked when he flipped her off him and onto the ground. But perhaps he hadn't seen as many strangulation murder cases as they had. (John Douglas, Obsession)

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Too much going on and I'm beat

Why am I doing this to my self. I need to remember that I have limitation and need to turn down a few invites.

My weekends keep filling up with people I do love, friends with fun activities. The problem is that I end up with day or half a day trying to pay bills, do laundry, and get some laying around TV time for me.

Friday, was a gathering to celebrate the promotion with a few other girls who got the honor as well. Red wine and a fire in a backyard. I can't turn that down. I love that. We roasted marshmellows and made s'mores. mmmmmm. The trouble is that the week has been crazy for all of us to wrap up our assigned work so that iy was in a good place when the people replacing us would take it over. I did get a call that night from Jane letting me know that the memorial service looks like its going to be this Friday.

I had to get up at a decent hour on Saturday for a haircut and gossip session from my friend/hair stylist, Tony. He loved my recently passed former boss as well, so I filled him in on what little I knew. If we can't make the service, we are going to make sure that we send some astounding flowers. He's thinking orchids. I filled him in on some gossip from the resort that made him laugh. He and Stan are going to throw brunch at their place for Easter but we won't worship Jesus we will be worshipping bunnies.

I then had to go to a pampered chef party. Yeah I know Ughh! But I seemed to have found a few things I needed or Dave had to have. Cutting Boards...He's unsatisfied with our current ones and wanted to get some new ones. (he wasn't there but we were texting back and forth). Since the party was at my sisters house, I ended up staying to chat with her and another friend, billy. He is lots o fun, loves pampered chef and will be host for another party in April. I suggested he needs to make a special cocktail for the party, a "pampered-tini". I stayed way too long there and had some errands to do before the evenings event.

Candye Kane was in town. She usually comes once a year and really try not to miss it. I had a few Stella's and had lots of dancing fun. Dave's best friend Dan showed up and my sister and her husband joined us in the very packed place. We were in line before the doors opened. All the tables were taken when we got in and we ended up sitting on bars stools on a back wall that had a small shelf for our drinks. When she played the keyboard with her tits the place went crazy.

Now it's Sunday, my feet hurt and I am looking at my calender for next weekend and I think I'm going to cancel a few things. I also think that I'm going to take a nap and then watch Eastern Promises on pay per view.

another email

ok......well..... I'm done, too much drama and nothing for me to be invested in. done done done

Thursday, February 14, 2008

8:08 AM Your email

Subject: an example on why you need to get over yourself

How did you get all of that out of "hey lets do Happy Hour sometime?"

The Happy Hour offer still stands because you I like, just make sure the next email does not contain any ideas about what you KNOW about me because the one particular subject you were talking about was incorrect...couldn't be further from my reality. Again I want to stress that we are still friends, and friends share appetizers sometimes. K'bye

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

some news important to me, you? not so much

I got the news today that a former boss/mentor died yesterday, in California, and I was really surprised at how affected I was by it. I haven't seen her in 5 years. I had some trouble breathing and had to leave and stand in the desert, outside the building. She was pretty darn amazing, very encouraging, very straitforward and cute as a button. She was someone who came from humble beginnings and worked her ass off for her great success. She was only 55.

That said, when I returned the call to my former work buddy, Jane, we lapsed right into some pretty inappropriate comments, but that's to be expected from me, really.

We caught up on what was the latest in mine and Dave's life and we're making plans to catch up at a Happy Hour in the very near future. That office was all women and it got a little/alot catty sometimes, in the decade I was there. I'm sure that there were some comments about me not wanting to talk to anyone else in the office besides Jane. Many of them felt like I was their friend, but believe me I was good at being pleasant and friendly and knowing that you all would stab anyone in the back at anytime. Get over yourself in your underpaid job.

I'm very Circle of Life (Lion King) about that Death thing but some people you just don't expect to make their exit. I am much, much better now; Dave knew and loved her, so we talked abit about the shock of it all, and I got a call from the Toddster on my drive home today. A few double entendres always brings a little sunshine in my day, especially from Toddster.

I'll be seeing Toddster on Friday, with the group of people that I started working with, when I came to my current employer. We are hired in classes and then put through 10 weeks of training, so it's like a little reunion.

Anyway, I will wait for word on a funeral and I hope to see her son, a former happy hour buddy from 1995. He has so many issues about his parents and I think that this is really going to break him.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Late night Fight

I don't know how long this will stay up, so enjoy it until youtube pulls it

...chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze...

This Saturday has been like no other I've had in a very very long time. I spoke of a plan hatching and the mission was completed but it was not exactly how I thought it would be.

Friday night, I went to a Happy Hour with two work friends, as we were all promoted together. I was the first one to the place and responsible for securing a table. As I was driving over, parking and waiting for the arrival of the girls, I thought I'd check in with Andrew.

Andrew was going to be joining me, Blair and Erin for an evening out on Saturday. He had mentioned that he wasn't drinking, so I called him to get myself a designated driver. The conversation was very upbeat, a change in him from the last few months. We all have troubles and he had happenned to be going through some things and his old sparkle was gone.

I really hated him my freshman year in High School and then we became fast friends starting our Sophmore year '84/'85 and we kept in touch after High School until 1993. When we were both in town we would definately meet up and go out for some very platonic fun. What I love about him is that he was always happy, up for a laugh and always in on an adventure. When he was quiet during breakfast and his voice was sounding a little low, a was bit worried but Friday he sounded really happy. What is most important, because its all about me, he agreed to be my driver for the evening.

He arrived at my home slightly late. I gave him the wrong directions. I'm the worst at given directions. Sorry! I climbed in the car and noticed that he was wearing glasses. It's one of those things;the getting older things, we're approaching forty and he now has to wear glasses for driving. What struck me most was that he really looked like someone's parent; he looked like a dad. When he started singing to the radio, Black hole sun, Won't you come, Won't you come...I had to belly laugh!! He pegged it when he said, Am I having a Chevy Chase moment, the comedic Dad?

We arrived at the Restaurant, famous for it's tropical drinks, and found a spot on their patio. My feet had been killing me for the last couple of days. (damn rheumatiod arthritis) and the 1st cocktail helped control the foot pain...the 2nd didn't hurt either...We were joined by Erin and Blair quickly after. We drank, gossiped and shared some appetizers, which were...ok..

And then...

We thought that this might be the opportunity to go to a strip club. The finest girls in the Valley. I happen to have passes to get into this club, which would waive the entry fee of $20 for 4 people. I would be really interested on what the anthropologist in the group thought of the experience. Seeing a friend get two lap dances and then discuss what, if anything, turns him on about the girls, was a little out of the comfort zone, but not as disturbing as I thought it would be. I was slightly jealous to learn that someone had been to Scores in Manhattan and another had been to a club in Las Vegas. And it turns out that a male person in the group, who I won't name...hmmm I wonder who that is, has been more than a few times. Once again I'm experiencing something that everyone already has...sigh... a half an hour of fun was enough so we heading to a place with dancing.

Of course, now my hips hurt and my feet still hurt today, and we didn't dance that long! We sat in a booth and chatted for the remainder of the evening.

Next, we all need to go to Amsterdams for martinis

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

newsflash

Just to preface this...I am intoxicated...

I got a promotion today at the ole job...Yeah for me!!!!! Celebration with friends to come on friday and next friday.

the celebration tonight was with my sweetbaby. We headed to the neighborhood restaurant and ran into my older sister and her husband.

My bartenders, Perry and Scoop (and oh I've had so many...Michael from Lake Lodge, Summer of 93, I remember you fondly... your midori margarita got me through some times and so did your Texan sensibilities) made me a chocolate cake shot, a german chocolate cake shot, a milk chocolate martini and a gin and tonic with my BLT. I love you both, and I mean that...

Unfortunately, my sister and I ended the evening with discussing some family demons. Wow that was a buzzkill.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Catching Up

Well, well, well, it's been a long time hasn't it. Much has really not happened but as always, life is good.

The weekend has been ...relaxing... would be the word. Friday was Happy Hour to bitch with co-workers (I really don't have much to complain about. I love the job)

Saturday morning, Dave and I watched part of the documentary Friends of God. My sweetie was vocal about what freaks he thought the people in the evangelical world were. I bit my tongue until 10pm tonight when I finally said,

Those people! That's your party!

In the week leading up to Super Tuesday, our pact to not speak of politics to each other has been tested abit. We made a few comments under our breathe or as we leave each other's company for another room.

Saturday was dinner out with the best friend, her husband and our mutual friends, Tony and Stan. Dinner at Sierra Bonita, was fabulous. Everyone of us finished every speck of food on our plate. Lots of forks were diving into each others plates (We're not shy, we've all known each other for more than a decade) and the Bread Pudding was soooo delicious. The BFF's husband took the first bite and exclaimed,

OH MY GOD THAT IS FUCKING AMAZING,

and I'm thinking to myself,

Well, that was over the top, calm down, you wierdo...

until I took the next bite and said, after a pause for an enveloping ecstacy,

I would push and trample 5 years olds to eat a bite of this dish

Sunday, Dave and I spent the day perusing Lowe's shelves for the next home project. We are finally going to redo the upstairs bathroom. Me, being the finance person, set up the project budget in a spreadsheet and hope all goes well with the plumbing. That's where it can all go into the pit of hell.

I've had some wonderful times connecting with some high school friends. Blair, desperate for a night out due to extenuating circumstances in her household, her husband, Chris and I met up at Trader Vic's in Scottsdale, a few weeks ago. A plot was launched, which I won't speak of unless it actually comes to fruition, and a few tasty drinks were consumed and some disappointing desserts were had. Dave was at a party without me and couldn't make it.

We then followed it up with a breakfast with me, Blair, Andrew and Erin at Pischke's in Scottsdale (again.). A drive for me but well worth it. I was really happy to see that Andrew made it out to meet us. He dropped out of any contact for a bit but we found "it was him, not us" The follow up, "Thank You" e-mail from Erin hit the nail on the head. She said that it's nice to discover that we all do each have roots; a history shared and it is a comforting thing (paraphrased). As much as I hated High School, I will have to admit that connecting with this group has been very soul comforting.

Unfortunately, I person from my past, an ex-friend, sent an email to catch up. It's actually sitting in my email, has been for two weeks, undeleted, just waiting for a response, which I keep thinking that I might. Dave keeps reminding me why I shouldn't but I still feel like I should accept the invitation to meet up and chat.

I was watching the Superbowl Half Time show with Tom Petty and he was singing my song, American Girl, and he gets to the line,

And for one desperate moment there, He crept back in her memory

and dammit, he did creep back in my memory. Oh well, the memory follows quickly to the memories of what an ass he was.

Memories, like the corner of my mind...

Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time re-written every line?...


We also went to our "family" birthday party. (My family is made up of my sisters, their husbands, friends, who are mostly gay men, my BFF and her husband) Some highlights were that we will celebrate on Labor Day of every year the sterilazation of some of the group (including me and my husband), That my BFF was made the hero of Charlie's when she stated that no accidents will happen and if it does, she has a date with a vacuum and the tour of new art pieces in the home of the hosts, that consisted of homoerotic art. Sadly, the hosts removed the tree with the tree house.