I should be doing something constructive

I am writing because I am trying to avoid the things I must do. I always do this. I am a procrastinator.

I have to,

1) Balance the checkbook.
2) Pay bills.
3) Homework

When Dave arrives home from his Sunday coffee party,
4) Buy tile, grout and new shower fixtures
5) Go to Costco and spend way too much on a gallon of a variety of things. (1 gallon = 3.79 liters)

Its about 1pm on a Sunday and so far I've slept in, made myself some coffee (I love my coffee press) watched Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant and the Independent Spirit awards. I started typing this and I'm watching (again) Music and Lyrics. I have always found Hugh Grant very entertaining and amusing but I never thought of him as a heartthrob (or any other kind of throb) but when I saw the Pop Goes My Heart video, I have adored him ever since. No, I'm not proud of this.

The memorial services was heartbreaking. I can truly say that she is a little part of me. She helped me become an adult. I met her when I was 25 and still very much a girl. She was the first person to push me, the first to tell me that I could do what ever I wanted to do. She was the first to back me up on a business decision that I made. Most importantly, she was the first to tell me that I knew better, when I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing. I can't believe that she chose to make an exit but as always she did things on her own terms. I hate thinking about this so let's move on...

I met the people that I started my current job with, later, Friday evening. Toddster noticed I wasn't "on" that night and gave me an extra squeeze before I left for the evening. We all promised to meet up again soon. I said that I was just a little tired. The new promotion has sapped my energy. I react to stress, good or bad, by sleeping and not eating. I did learn some very interesting information about one of my new peers. This person had made a derogatory comment about the race of the person who was telling me this little story. There are very few things that I really find offensive and a racist remark (especially at the work place) is pretty unforgivable, but then I really never take too much in to account if it didn't happen to me or I didn't actually witness the incident. I will just file this bit of information away and be wary.

I finally got to see my best work friend. He just had a baby, is married and we have different work schedules. We also don't like talking on the phone so we don't see each other often. Enough with the pictures of your baby's pooh, please! When he did show up, we had a great time making fun of the waiter and swapping gossip about co-workers. Our waiter was way to friendly. He did a drive by two thumbs up with a smile...and he looked like Clark Kent. We tipped him generously for the abuse.

I had dinner with my best friend and her husband last night. She is having some medical issues that so far has not been diagnosed after 2 specialist. She sees a 3rd on Friday. I'm worried but with no answers, nothing to do but wait.

I filled her in on the memorial services. That's where we met, that job over a decade ago. She knew my husband before I did and was involved in us ultimately getting together. She was impressed by how I avoided those that I couldn't stand seeing again. They are huggers...I guess they get a better grip while stabbing you in the back. It's just the nature of that particular business. Since then, I can't be touched by someone I don't know or trust. One girl, a hug and a cheek kisser tried to steal my bff's job. This is not gossip, this is fact, since when it happened I was in a managerial role and was privy to the details. She of course asked about my bff and how is she doing? Just fine, bitch, thank you for asking.

The BFF, her husband, Dave and I had a wonderful evening out talking, since we've been exchanging voicemail for a few weeks without any new news about her medical issues and I finally got to see her and her husband in person. That's always nice; Your best friends husband gets along with your husband. Its one of my favorite times to be with them. All four of us our completely comfortable with each other.

I still marvel that I'm finally comfortable in my life and very happy. How did that happen? What happened to my angst?

I do have one little goal for myself. This may seems very trivial but I miss the movies that I love. I was watching the Spirit awards and I had only seen 1 or 2 movies. There are so many movies that I want to see and now I may have to catch up by getting them through Netflix, which is not the way I want to see them. The experience of seeing them in a theater is something that I love. I think that I will, of course, start getting them through Netflix, but I will have to make time, maybe the first showing on Saturday or Sunday, to see what is at the Harkins Camelview.

Friday's Memorial Service

This is to have Succeeded

To laugh often and love much:

To win respect of intelligent people

And the affection of children;

To earn the approbation of honest critics

And endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To give one's self;

To leave the world a little better,

Whether by a healthy child,

A garden patch,

Or redeemed social condition;

To have played and laughed with enthusiasm

And sung with exultation;

To know even one life has breathed easier

Because you have lived...

This is to have succeeded.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Too much going on and I'm beat

Why am I doing this to my self. I need to remember that I have limitation and need to turn down a few invites.

My weekends keep filling up with people I do love, friends with fun activities. The problem is that I end up with day or half a day trying to pay bills, do laundry, and get some laying around TV time for me.

Friday, was a gathering to celebrate the promotion with a few other girls who got the honor as well. Red wine and a fire in a backyard. I can't turn that down. I love that. We roasted marshmellows and made s'mores. mmmmmm. The trouble is that the week has been crazy for all of us to wrap up our assigned work so that iy was in a good place when the people replacing us would take it over. I did get a call that night from Jane letting me know that the memorial service looks like its going to be this Friday.

I had to get up at a decent hour on Saturday for a haircut and gossip session from my friend/hair stylist, Tony. He loved my recently passed former boss as well, so I filled him in on what little I knew. If we can't make the service, we are going to make sure that we send some astounding flowers. He's thinking orchids. I filled him in on some gossip from the resort that made him laugh. He and Stan are going to throw brunch at their place for Easter but we won't worship Jesus we will be worshipping bunnies.

I then had to go to a pampered chef party. Yeah I know Ughh! But I seemed to have found a few things I needed or Dave had to have. Cutting Boards...He's unsatisfied with our current ones and wanted to get some new ones. (he wasn't there but we were texting back and forth). Since the party was at my sisters house, I ended up staying to chat with her and another friend, billy. He is lots o fun, loves pampered chef and will be host for another party in April. I suggested he needs to make a special cocktail for the party, a "pampered-tini". I stayed way too long there and had some errands to do before the evenings event.

Candye Kane was in town. She usually comes once a year and really try not to miss it. I had a few Stella's and had lots of dancing fun. Dave's best friend Dan showed up and my sister and her husband joined us in the very packed place. We were in line before the doors opened. All the tables were taken when we got in and we ended up sitting on bars stools on a back wall that had a small shelf for our drinks. When she played the keyboard with her tits the place went crazy.

Now it's Sunday, my feet hurt and I am looking at my calender for next weekend and I think I'm going to cancel a few things. I also think that I'm going to take a nap and then watch Eastern Promises on pay per view.

Church on Saturday

I got to meet the persons who made my Dave turn his back on his church.

Dave's best friend Dan called Tuesday to let us know that his mother, VI, has passed away. She had Alzheimer's for the last 15 years, so it was a very sad event but it was a relief to know that she was suffering no longer. They believe that she is in better hands, in God's care.

The viewing and rosary was on Friday night. Dave went alone Friday, and mingled with the crowd from the old neighborhood. Dave grew up around St. Gregory's but he hadn't seen some of those people for 20 years. I was working on my next paper, when he got back and he sat on the ground next to me and told me about all the people who were surprised how he had grown up so good looking, catching up on what the families were doing and filling them in on what his family have been up to. He then left before the praying started.

We both went to the funeral services; I went as that is what wives do, even though I didn't know her and I really like Mass. Yes, that is correct. I like Mass.

When I first met Dave, I was really turned off by Mass, from what glimpses I saw on T.V. when I flipped through a Christmas Midnight Mass or Easter services that they show here locally in town from St. Francis. I must confess that the real reason I really didn't like Mass was because of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Mutants were living underground in St. Patrick's in New York City and worshiping a nuclear bomb and they held their own Mass then pulled off their masks that they covered their melted mutant faces. You see that movie once when you're eight and then ask yourself, why do you think Mass is creepy.

Since hanging out the husbands family, and going to a few on official church business (weddings, funerals and Christmas Eve) I really like the pageantry and order of the service. I just don't believe in God, that's all.

Meanwhile back at the church,

Dave's sister, Heather shows up (wearing a bra, a "thank you god" would be appropriate here) and has my niece in tow, Molly age 7, whiny tattletale. At the after service brunch, We three are trying to mingle and meet the family and Molly is asking repeatedly if she can come over today and play with the cat's. Due to Dave's little construction project in the house, Uncle Dave says no, but she is planning to come swimming in a few weeks. Dave catches up with the kids he grew up with and Heather learns that the boy she had a crush on while growing up had passed away a few years ago.

And then I met the woman who caused Dave's slide out of his church.

Dave did love Mass as much as I do. He likes his church in the traditional sense. When he was a teenager, this fine lady wanted to express her love for her god in a more modern way. For a few services, she did, what Dave described as, some interpretive dance-y mumbo jumbo during the service and taught arm movements to the children to help tell the story in hymns. In most things you need to do it the proper way, the way that Dave feels is proper, or its ruined for him. He really wasn't into his faith (meaning faith in a supreme being) and as soon as he could stop (meaning heading to college and out of his parent's house) he stopped going to church.

She seemed like a very nice lady. She said Dave grew up so handsome and I must take good care of him; you can tell just by how good he looks. She and another lady did start clapping and doing arm movements to the last song at the end of the service. I'm only annoyed by those things If I'm forced to participate against my will, much like the Macarena.